Saturday, May 28, 2011

Number 45 : Mai Sato (佐藤 麻衣)

I never knew Mai Sato was such a popular name. When I was looking through my stash for pictures of Mayi, I ran into a Japanese porn star with the same name. Amazing. This Mai Sato is much hotter though. There is also a pole dance champion named Mai Sato. And a lesbian in New York. It's like being named Mike Smith or Steve Jones or something. I don't know why people are still naming their kids Mike or Steven. I seriously have worked with over 200 people name Mike or Steve. And there is always a really weird guy named Sato. And not just here, like all over the world. But not Mai Sato. She's not weird. She's hot. She's like the Angelina Jolie of Asia. Japanese Ambassador to China. And a huge star all over Taiwan. And has her own lingerie company. And she works in Malaysia, and Singapore, and Brunei, and Texas. And she works overtime in my imagination. Doing a sexy dance. Modeling that lingerie for me. And then taking it off. Then putting back on again. She's the Japanese Ambassador to my fantasies.


Blog:!AH8fsHCRHwVds4lxf5Ro (Chinese)

Friday, May 20, 2011

Number 46 : Mana Honda (本多末奈)

I can't put on finger on exactly what I like most about Mana. I can tell you several places I would like to put my finger though. And have put my finger. Here's a hint - it smells like your Mom. Mana's got fantastic legs. Nice boobies. Nice ass. Pretty face. Full lips. Looks like an ex-girlfriend. And the name Mana Honda. Sounds like a new car. Or a porn name. Like Ichigo Milk. Or Oliver Bush. Mana, as everyone knows,  means power. Like my good friends and cougar band - Puamana. Or Flower Power. And Honda means cheap Acura. So her name literally translates to "Power Car." Just imagine taking a ride on this power car. I wonder if she has that new car scent. Or maybe I read that wrong and it's supposed to be a new cat scent. The best thing about Mana - sometimes she looks super innocent, sometimes she looks nasty. Like she would be into all sorts of devious things. And then bow and thank you profusely the next morning. For sticking things in places they don't belong. Things only Mana and I could imagine. Together. In bed. At night.


Jelly Blog:

Monday, May 16, 2011

Number 47 : Angela Baby Yang (楊穎)

Hehe. Her name translates to Ying Yang. Get it. The ying-yang sign is a 69. That's like calling your kid 69. Good luck with your future as a stripper there 69. And talk about a stereotype. A Chinese girl named Ying Yang. She seems like she would be really annoying. Like she's got too much ying and not enough yang. And I would probably have to keep my yang in her mouth to keep her quiet. I'm not sure why she is so popular either. She's huge in Japan, and Hong Kong, and China, and parts of Brunei, and Cambodia. Don't get me wrong - I'd take my socks off before sex with her, but she's really not that fantastic. There also seems to be a big deal about her getting plastic surgery. Really? I mean really? If a girl is average looking and she gets a boob job or a nose job or a tuck or an eye job or an eyebrow lift, and it makes her insanely popular, then I say well done! It's just like working hard if you're a salary man. Or sleeping with the producers if you're an actor. Or taking steroids if you're an athlete. Or drinking a bunch of coffee if you're a truck driver. Or smoking pot if you're a brain surgeon. Or copying a bunch of original content if you publish something on the internet. Point is whatever you can do to get the upper hand - Do IT!


Facebook:楊穎 (Probably a fan page. I can't read that chicken scratch.)
Official Website:
Unofficial Website: (No updates since October)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Number 48 : Kelly (ケリー)

If you're going to be hot - call yourself Kelly. That is a hard and fast rule. I think this is the first of 23 Kellys on the list. Or maybe 2-3. I mean think about it - Kelly Clarkson, Kelly Slater, Kelly Pickler, Kelly Blue Book. The list goes on and on. And, I don't care if you want to say she's not Asian. She might be. Maybe her Mom is Asian. Or maybe her name is Kelly Sato. Or Kelly Okazaki. Or Kelly Yamamoto. Anyway, she lives in Japan sometimes and is a model there, so she makes the list. So go suck an egg. And she's in the Half Model's section on the Ten Carat website, so I'm guessing that refers to hapa and not ニューハーフ. At least I hope so. And the fact that she is from Brazil makes her even hotter. I heard that in Brazil it's mandatory to have a Brazilian wax. It's like registering for the draft or jury duty or something. Except you can't get out of it by running off to Canada or being racist. 2 more great things about Kelly - Peach John. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but Peach John. The best magazine ever made. And Kelly is in it. Or was at least. Until they caught me cutting holes in all the pictures of her. They they locked me up. And took her out of the magazine as a punishment. A punishment for being too hot!


Facebook: (Probably a Fan Page)
Model Site:
Summer Blog: (Summer of '09)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Number 49 : Koni Lui (呂慧儀)

Koni took second place in the Miss Hong Kong pageant. That's why we get along so well. I took second place in the Long Dong contest. I would have won it too - if it wasn't for those meddling kids and their Extenze. And that Jimmy Johnson. What's funny is his name is Johnson and he is selling a dick pill. And Jimmy. Like Jimmy protection. He was born to sell dick stuff. Speaking of dick stuff, Koni is one hot mama that I would like to stuff my dick into. See what I did there? It's called a transition. And she's one hot mama that I would like to transition my stuff into. Well, that didn't work as well. Anyway, she has long, long, legs. And likes to show them. And long boobs. And likes to show some of them. Her long legs and my long Extenze-free dong make us a great match. If we got together they would have to call us Long Dong Hong Kong. And we could go on tour with Cheech and Chong. Featuring Angela Fong. Look for our tour coming soon to a town near you that you may have heard of.


Facebook:呂慧儀 (Probably a Fan Page, but I can't read that chicken scratch.)