Thursday, April 28, 2011

Number 50 : Namie Amuro (安室 奈美恵)

名前は安室? Ha. That's a little Japanese joke for you there. Amuro was my first love. And she is the one I caught the fever from - the Yellow Fever. And she's the one that made it cool for girls to have tattoos. Even though I think they look skanky. I mean I used to like them. Like tramp stamps are always good to shoot your load on. And so are mustaches. Or on the eyebrow tat. For some that's the eyeblow. Or in the eye. Or on the chest like Pink. But the problem with Amuro's tattoos is they are on her arms. It's not easy to spooge on a shoulder. Or wrist. Not without a little practice at least. That's why I got the Amuro blow-up doll. For practice. Then when we finally meet in person, I'll be ready for her. And impress her with my prowess. Here's a little known fact. One of her tattoos says "I love white balls." Luckily for her, I have those white balls for her. Now time for me to practice my prowess.


Facebook: (Fan Page)
News Network:

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Number 51 : Paula Malai Ali

Paula is from Brunei. The only country that still has a Sultan. Actually the only thing I know about Brunei is that they have a Sultan. And he kidnapped a playmate. And kept her locked in the basement of his Palace. But the basement of a Palace is like a summer home in the Hamptons. Only slightly larger. And with fewer whores. And more oil. Which is good for oil wrestling. And making skin smooth and shiny on that webcam I installed. And for oil fights. But enough about the Hamptons, back to Brunei. I don't know what else Brunei has done for the world, but they gave use Paula. And her twin sister. And for that I thank you dear Sultan. And my fantasy about a night in the jungle with steamy twins - I'll just keep that to myself.


Twin Twitter:!/jennymalaiali

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Number 52 : Chikako Watanabe (渡辺知夏子)

The. Best. Legs. In. Asia. Period. I guess the last period is redundant. It's like saying period period. But seriously, she's got awesome legs. It's times like these when I decide I'm a leg man. I'm also a boob man. And an ass man. And a nice face is important too. Chikako has them all. But mostly it's the nice legs. I could spend hours licking up one side and down the other. Taking a little break in the cave at the top of the mountain before decending it again. And then back up to the hairy barrier. And now it all comes full circle. Here's a useless fact. If you Google 渡辺知夏子 it will take you to Japanese pages. But, the classical spelling of 渡邊知夏子 takes you to Taiwan pages. All the pictures are of the same leggy goddess we've come to love and admire in the last 20 seconds. And that is your education for the day. Now go get yourself a burger. You deserve it. Meanwhile, I need to find my hiking staff. I'm going to imagine licking my way up a leg mountain for the next 4 days.


Facebook: (Fan Page)
Twitter:!/chikako_724 (Don't ask me why she has 2 accounts)

Friday, April 8, 2011

Number 53 : Eriko Tachiya (舘谷恵利子)

She calls herself Erijo. Like it's cute or something to funk up your name. Like when you call Becky - Beckor, or Pecker, or Fat Bitch. Or when you call Yumi - Yummy, or Do me, or Get Off Your Knees. I like to call Eriko -  Eriblow. And Erislow. And Eritaekwondo. Slow and low, let yourself go, down with the tempo. I saw some pictures on her blog where she looked like Eriafro. One time, I saw her in Roppopngi and I walked up to her and said - "Yo, Jo. How would you like to see my Cobra?" That's what cartoons are missing these days. You don't see any Pokeman telling kids to keep out of construction sites. Or any Sponge Bob telling them to use a condom if they have pre-marital sex. Now that is just sad. If kids can't depend on cartoon characters to build ethics and morals, then where can they turn? Church? I don't know about that, but I do know I'll be worshipping Eriko tonight. I'm going to erect a long statute and eventually give her an offering.


Friendster: (I've heard of this site, but I thought it was a myth.)
Old Blog:

Monday, April 4, 2011

Number 54 : Gu Hara (구하라)

The best thing about dating Gu is being able to yell out GU! all the time. Like when you're shopping and you find your favorite brand of kimchi and it's too expensive - GU! And then when you're at home and she takes of her clothes and you see her third nipple - GU! And then when you finish and jam it in her nose (which isn't easy 'cause she's got a big mouth) - GU! She wouldn't know if you were surprised or disgusted or relieved, but she would feel special because you were constantly yelling her name. Like that "Stella" guy. She hopped right into bed with him when he kept yelling her name from the streetcar. That's how that movie ended right? Anyway, another great thing about GU!, her band is called Kara. Like kara-oke. Like empty. Like nothing there. That reminds me of my friend in grade school. His name was Kerry. Kerry Oki. Fat little hapa Japanese kid. I wonder if his parents named him that on purpose. You don't think it's true? Google him. He's on facebook. Or the Twitter. Or Myspace. Does anyone still use that?


Facebook: (Probably not her)
Website: (Kara site)