Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Number 41 : Riyo Mori (森 理世)

I really don't get this Miss Universe thing. So there's a Miss USA. And a Miss America. And Miss World America. And I guess they don't really get along with each other. I think it would be cool if the same person ran for all 3 the same year. I wonder if there is a non-compete clause. Like if you are a runner-up in USA, could you run for America? Would you have to wait a year or something? I guess you would have to go back and get voted Miss town or county, and then state, and then so forth and so on. I wonder how these girls decide which path to take. Is is USA? America? World? And what about Earth? I think there is a Miss Earth right? And a Miss International? It's like WWE title belts. Anyway, back to the point - Riyo. Riyo is super hot. I wonder if it was weird for her and Rachel Smith to be in the same reality show. After Riyo beat Rachel's pants off. Literally. Riyo wore pants for her formal gown. And Rachel is hot too. One of the hottest non-Asians in the world. 2007 was a great year for Kleenex. And Riyo will always be the miss of my universe. I would like to get my mister into the center of her universe if you get my drift. Or even the black hole of her universe - I'm not picky.


Blog: http://ameblo.jp/mori-riyo (Mr Sparkle Time?)
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/RIYO-MORI
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/riyomori
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/MoriRiyo
Website: http://www.riyo-mori.com
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riyo_Mori

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Number 42 : Coco Chiang (蒋怡)

I really like the name Coco. Koko B Ware. Coco T. Coco the Clown. Koku Gene. Here's a funny anecdote. I get to use grown up words like anecdote now because I'm drinking Scotch like a big boy! Anyway, I know this girl that thinks she can speak Japanese and she thought that the word 黒人, was supposed to be ココア人. I guess it's funny if you can understand Japanese. Or can use Google Translate. Sometimes you get some funny ass shit on there. That anecdote is even funnier though because that girl named her kid Cocoa, instead of the traditional Coco or Koko. However you spell it, this Coco is yummy. I'd like to drink her up. She's 6 foot though. And her nose is kind of big and might get in the way. I'm not sure about that. I don't think I have ever "dated" an Asian girl that was taller than 5'5". I like them short, easier to wheelbarrow them that way. But I would like to try a taller girl. One that is 6' and got some fine ass legs would be nice. How about it Coco? How would you like to help me cross off a line from my Fucket List? Call me! Or follow me on Twitter. Or Facebook. Or Friendster. Or Myspace.


Blog: http://www.wretch.cc/blog/cocochiang
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Coco-Chiang
Wiki: http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/蒋怡

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Number 43 : Patty Hou ( 侯佩岑)

Hacksaw Jim Duggan used to call out her name every night. Hooo! And rappers always ask everyone to "let me hear you say Ho!" And I scream out Patty once in the morning and then once again in the afternoon. After I take a nap. A wet nap. That's one of the worst product names ever. I guess Nova is worse, and on the upside, I can use a Wet Nap to clean up after my wet nap, so never mind. Patty used to date Jay Chou like 10 years ago. And everyone still has to mention him whenever they talk about her. And not to bring it up again, but why is both Hou and Chou spelled the same, but one is said Hoe and the other is said Chow? It's still an effed up language. Anyway, Jay Chou is like Justin Timberlake, Chuck Norris, Ferris Bueller, Johnny Cash, Hulk Hogan, John F Kennedy, and Elvis rolled up into one. Except he's from Taiwan. So he has 800,000,000,000 fans. And he wasn't good enough for Patty. I bet he never got past first base. She's locked up down there like Fort Knox. I know. I used to stalk her nightly for that week that I attended USC. I guess it's called attending. I mostly stayed in a small room behind the exchange students dorms. Anyway, time for me to go Pat my Hou.


Blog: http://styleblog.vogue.com.tw
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/hou.patty
Vlog: http://im.tv/myvlog/patty
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patty_Hou

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Number 44 : Eugene Kim (김유진)

Eugene is like one of those old man names that you never hear anymore. I've never met a Eugene. Or even a Gene. I guess there is Mean Gene Okerlund. But he's pretty old now too. It's like Walt. Or Mildred. Or Beatrice. Or Mabel. No one wants to name their kid a name that makes people think they are a grandparent. But in Asia it doesn't really matter. You can call yourself Butter, or Apple, or Apple Butter, or Rain, or Snow, or Sleet, or Cloud, and still be cool because you have a name that is unique. But anyway, this Eugene is hot. And she's not mean. And she speaks perfect English so that makes her hotter. And she is a singer. So that makes her hotter. And she is an actress, so that makes her hotter. She's so hot in fact that I'll probably have to ice down before I have sex with her. I don't know what's worse though, ice on my crotch or a burn. I guess ice. Ice. Definitely ice. I'm going to go start working on this. And I'm going to rename my junk Hoth.


Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Eugene-Kim-Yoo-Jin (Probably a Fan Site)
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/islandgirl_81
Website: http://eugene.pfull.com
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugene